Blog 4. About co-dependency and anxious attachment style.

There's a big misconception about codependency that being limited only to separation issues in relationships but it’s really an umbrella term since there are so many other forms and definitions that fall under the common category. while I never had any issues with codependency in romantic relationships, I did have a complex co-dependency situation within my family relationships.

 I think it would be really helpful for you to read about anxious attachment styles as a refresher to remind yourself how you operate in the world sometimes, both consciously and unconsciously.  If you’re worried about your codependent traits and habits resurfacing, I think it’s an urgent message from your inner self that there's something within you that you need to heal. In my case, having an anxious attachment style often means you're thinking about the relationship way more than the other person, which for me means I end up emotionally investing myself very quickly. Anxious attachment styles tend to be so focused on other people and their needs, but seldom focus on themself and their own needs, this has been affecting my life a great deal without me realizing it. The good part is that I've now understood more about my actions when I meet someone.

Recognizing your attachment pattern can help you better understand your strengths and vulnerabilities in a relationship, as well as learning about the options for change. you can achieve a ‘secure attachment’ by healing past wounding. healing will look like: learning to be assertive in expressing your emotional needs and setting healthy boundaries. 

Lastly, with healing, comes accepting yourself and seeing others as humans with faults too. Through the words and actions of others, we can learn much about ourselves by observing how we react to them. Having and give you self love and healing isn’t easy work, but it’s worth it in the end.